Goodnight, My Angel
by Chelsea Oz
Summary: Atticus must go to Montgomery soon after his wife's death and is unable to cope with his daughter's separation anxiety. One shot.


The state of Alabama waits for no lawyer to grieve over his wife. The day after New Year's was when I got a call that there would be an emergency meeting in Montgomery starting the next day and I probably wouldn't be coming home until a week later.

How did they expect me to do that? For the first time in my life I could honestly say that I hated my job. Sure, when my children were babies and doing their first everythings I was annoyed that I had to be at work to miss out on a few of them but my children are going through their first heartbreak, and the thought that the state wanted to take their father away after God took their mother away made me want to punch holes in the walls.

"Hancock residence," my sister answered her phone.

"Zandra," I grunted into the phone. "I need you to do me a huge favor."

"What is it, Brother?"

"I need you to come to Maycomb and help Calpurnia with Jem and Scout. I need to go to Montgomery for a week."

"Already? The year has only just begun! What is going on with the politics around here?"

"For the first time, I don't care. I just need someone to please help me with the children if you can."

"Sure. I'll be on my way in a few hours."

"Thank you so very, very much."

"You're very, very welcome."

She may be a bit too much to take but my sister's a good woman. Alexandra hasn't let her brother down yet. Well, except for in regards to my late wife anyway. Jean was so bubbly and happy and Alexandra's so prim and proper; they just didn't mix. I just hope Zandra is more loving towards Scout because I see a lot of Jean in her. God, please don't take Jean's spirit away from my daughter.

The big cuckoo clock had ticked off to quarter of five and it was closing time for my office. I stuff my unfinished papers in my briefcase, put on my coat and hat, and lock the door behind me. I was proud of the way I handled my first few days back on the job; it gave me something to do, something to keep my mind of all the strain I was under at home. Sometimes the sadness of coming home overwhelms me to the point where I wish I never did. The only thing that is keeping me from really going off the deep end is my children.

"Atticus!" Scout screams as soon as she sees me walk through the door. Her smile could light up the darkest room, I swear. "Atticus!"

"I'm home, baby," I tell her as I take her face in my hands and give her forehead a kiss. She giggles when I do that and I begin to kiss her face all over just to make her laugh some more. I could get drunk off my daughter's laugh.

"Hello, Atticus," Jem greets with his arms wide open for me.

"Hello, Jem," I greet back as I scooch down to hug my son. "How was school?"

"It was good. I learned about shapes today."

"That's very interesting, son," I say as I hoist myself back up. My son is so smart and I'm so proud.

"Evening, Mr. Finch," Calpurnia says with a smile and a tray of carved meat.

"Evening. Roast beef, huh?"

"Yes, sir. Just let me get the mashed potatoes and brussel sprouts."

"Sounds good, Cal," I say as I take my seat in between Jem and Scout. For the most part, we just wait in silence which I have grown accustomed to. It felt good to not have silence leave me feeling awkward.

"Here we are," Cal says, interrupting that silence with two heaping bowls of side dishes.

"Thank you, Cal," I reply as I begin to ration out portions to my children and help Scout cut her meat; Jem was old enough to cut his own.

"How was work, Atticus?" Jem asked as he took a bite.

"It was good," I say as I groaned. "I have something to tell you and I don't want you to be mad."

"I won't be mad."

"I have to go to Montgomery and I won't be home for week."

"How long is a week again?"

"Seven days."

"I can count to seven. Atticus. Seven isn't that much."

"I'm glad you're taking this so well."

"You leave most of the time anyway."

That cut me. The thing is that I know he didn't mean it to be malicious; he was simply stating that I leave for work most days. I take another bite of my dinner while I digest the fact that it was my own conscience beating myself up and not my son trying to attack me.

"Go bye," Scout piped up. I turned to look at her and I saw she had sad eyes. My heart was begining to break.

"Only for a little while, baby. I'll come back."

That did little to nothing to comfort her and she began to wail. All my anger began to boil up inside me again and I jumped up and jerked my daughter out of her high chair. I wasn't going to hurt her, I would never hurt her. I was going to take her to her bedroom and rock her in her rocking chair.

"Mr. Finch?" Cal asked as she came running into the dining room to see what all the commotion was about.

"She's all right, Cal," I say as I begin to walk out with my daughter in my arms. "Excuse me."

"Are you all right, Mr. Finch?"

"No, I'm not," I replied as I kept walking. Scout never stopped wailing even when we sat in the rocking chair which was almost always an instant calm to her. I put her ear to my heart and I gently rock her as I rub her head. Slowly but surely her crying stopped and she tired herself out. I then got up, kissed her and put her to bed.

"Daddy loves you," I whisper as I shut off her light.

I walk out of the room to see that Alexandra had already shown up at the door. Cal was there to greet her and I felt horrible that I never told Cal about Montgomery.

"Jem told me, Mr. Finch," Cal told me as if she could read my mind.

"Brother, why do you look so sad?" Zandra said.

"Scout's sad."

"She'll get over it. Children are resilient."

How I wish I could smack my sister sometimes. I try not to show my anger this time and try to think of Jem. Where was he?

"Jem's not in bed already, is he?" I asked Cal.

"I'm in here, Atticus," I heard him say. He must be in the living room, listening to the radio.

"Excuse me," I say to Cal and Zandra as I go to my son. Sure enough he was on the sofa listening to the radio. I sit next to him and put my arm around him.

"You're a good boy," I tell him with a kiss.

"Thank you."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Son," I say as I turn him my way so he can look at me. "I'm going to Montgomery a little early. You have your Aunty and Cal to look after you. Are you going to be all right with that?"

"Sure."

"Are you going to take care of your sister?"

"Yes."

"Good," I say as I give him one last kiss before I go to pack. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

I could feel his eyes on me as I walked away. It killed me to sense that. Instead of going to my own room, I go to my daughter's room.

"Why are you going in there?" I heard him ask me.

"I just have to get something out of here," I reply with a whisper. It was a good thing my daughter was a sound sleeper. I quietly sneak in, go through her dresser and pick out a bedtime onesie. This is the first thing I'm going to pack.

I could pack for Montgomery in my sleep. It doesn't take me long because I've been on these types of trips for years. I swear I was ready to go and out the door in fifteen mintues, twenty if you count my goodbyes. It took me two hours to get to Montgomery and another thirthy minutes to find a hotel to stay in. The first thing I did was get Scout's onesie and put it to my nose. I inhaled my daughter's scent deeply and rocked myself back and forth on my hotel bed, the onesie close to my heart. I don't care if it took me twenty minutes to leave the house, two hours to drive to Montgomery and seven days to stay in Montgomery; it would take me a lifetime to get over how I left my daughter so shortly after she lost her mother.


End file.
